Blabrmouth.com - Weekend Update

Republicans to Trade Oil for White House?

Well my fellow Democrats, looks like it is going to be our year. We are finally going to get a serious crack at winning the White House. I know they say the race is close, but McCain is going to suffer for the sins of Bush and the people just want to rinse their mouths out and start anew, and that’s exactly what Barack Obama is selling.

UBS Shutting Down Offshore Banking - I’m Sorry, What?

I’m sorry, what did you say? When the hell was that legal in the first place? Did I miss something at the last international banking scam meeting? Somehow UBS was able to sneak $18 billion dollars out of the United States and into 19,000 secrete bank accounts offshore.

US Air To Pilots: Don’t Top Off!

This has to be the most ef’d up story this month. Seems US Air is trying to increase fuel efficiency by….USING LESS EFFING FUEL! That’s right boys and girls, US Airways pilot’s union said yesterday that the airline is hammering pilots to use less fuel than they feel is safe in order to cut costs.

Note To Big 3 - Learn or Die

So Volkswagen is going to start building cars in Chattanooga, Tenn., Good for them. That makes like what…everyone that makes a car has a plant in the United States? Only problem is, the American car manufacturers can’t seem to get it right.

Viacom - The Only Winning Move is Not To Play!

Smart move Viacom. Unfortunately it took your crack legal team thousands upon thousands of hate letters to figure out that if you pushed this move you would suffer greatly in the pocketbook.

Headlines Suck!

As I have told you guys in previous posts, I scan about 1000 plus news feeds a day to pull out one or two stories that catch my eye. While I was working on this post last night I noticed that it was just one negative headline after another.

Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac: What’s The Deal?

Rumors flew last week over the health of the two giant mortgage companies. Were they going to be taken over by the Government? Were they going to go bust? What was their cash position? Then you here they were fine, no problem, plenty liquid, plenty of capital.

UBS Shutting Down Offshore Banking - I’m Sorry, What?

“Swiss banking giant UBS said on Thursday that it would stop offering offshore banking services to clients in the United States.”

I’m sorry, what did you say? When the hell was that legal in the first place? Did I miss something at the last international banking scam meeting? Somehow UBS was able to sneak $18 billion dollars out of the United States and into 19,000 secrete bank accounts offshore. Do you know how many mules you need to fly $18 billion dollars in wrapped dimes, nickels, and quarters packed into their you know whats to Switzerland?

Seriously, how could a conspiracy this massive go on undetected right under the noses of the IRS and the Treasury department unless….no, our boys and girls in Washington just hide it in their freezers.

In his testimony, Mr. Mark Branson, chief financial officer of the UBS global wealth management group, apologized for any compliance failures that might have happened and said the decision to close its Switzerland-based cross-border business was intended to ensure that such failures did not happen again. Well I would hope the hell not!

You know what the cool part is, the guy that blew the whistle on this whole thing is in a witness protection program somewhere and knows where all the bodies are and just where to look for them. He provided lists of people with accounts like;

Shannon Marsh of Fort Lauderdale, Fl.
William Wu of Forest Hills, Queens
Steven Greenfield of New York
Peter S. Lowy of Beverly Hills, Ca

These are all people named by Mr. Heinrich Kieber, a former employee of LGT, a bank owned by the royal family of Liechtenstein in details about LGT account holders to the I.R.S and other countries. You know, I wonder how many of you pounded American flags into your lawns this 4th of July….A-holes.