Note To Microsoft Marketing: Wake The $%@ UP!

I just can’t figure out why Microsoft has allowed Apple to beat the crap out of them in the PR war over operating systems. The only push back I have heard was when Steve Ballmer was asked about the comparison and he snapped back that Apple has 10 million users and Microsoft 300 million.

Well, that’s a pretty big number and you should be screaming it from the rooftops! Steve, here is some advice, fire your marketing department, go hire the best ad people in the game and take back your business. You are now losing mind share in the Vista space. People are afraid to buy a computer because they think it sucks.

The fault of that line of thinking falls squarely on your head Steve, it’s your show, been your show, now man up and stop getting your lunch eaten for you. Stop dicking around with Yahoo, if there is a deal to do, do it, if not, move on. Point is, stop being a pushover.

Here is 7:40 seconds worth of PC bashing, some of you Apple people will enjoy while the PC folks will feel bad about their buying choices. Either way, enjoy!

So Long Bill Gates - You’ll Be Back!

“Are these the shadows of the things that Will be, or are they shadows of things that May be, only?”

-Ebenezer Scrooge

It’s ‘What If’ Saturday. A post about possibilities. Today I want to talk about Bill Gates and Microsoft. Bill is getting ready to step down July 1st to focus on his philanthropic pursuits just as the new technology Microsoft has been creating starts to hit market.  This is Bill’s big setup…read on.

Bill Gates History

It used to be you where judged on smarts at Microsoft, but that has become less the norm these days with crazy man Steve Ballmer running the show and with Bill’s total departure, the place will be crawling with icky salespeople! Which leads me to the point of this post. Bill will be back. BUT, there is going to be a major bloodletting in the next few years as people aligned with Gates seek the exits faster than Yahoo! is bleeding talent today. Ballmer will do his level best to piss off customers, suppliers, engineers, developers, journalists, and anyone else he comes in contact with until……..

The Bill Gates “Coming Home” tour!

That’s right, Bill will return to Microsoft to raise the company up from the ashes to crush all those that set out to defeat the once mighty software giant! It will be momentous, there will be women and children crying at the feet of Bill as he once again takes his rightful place at the throne that is Microsoft headquarters, not until Bill slays the Steve Ballmer dragon. I mean really, do you think this maniac is going to survive sitting around a bunch of guys writing code for twenty hours a day?

I’ve seen people on the street arrested for doing exactly this!

That’s right folks, this is going to cost Ballmer his job. But I have a deep suspicion that Bill has not been happy with the road Ballmer has chosen for his company and this might be the only way Bill could get Steve out, by letting Steve completely self-destruct and then replace him and take the company back to it’s roots. Do you think Bill will be back at Microsoft?

Google’s Online Monopoly

I was reading an article by Jay Greene describing how badly Steve Ballmer wants to kick Google’s ass. This got me thinking, what is it that makes Microsoft so crazed about Google? The obvious financial reasons would make sense to anyone. But I get the distinct feeling that Microsoft (and some other companies) are getting fed up with Don’t Be Evil – Google’s motto. Google’s online monopoly in the search world is legendary now, some estimate in the range of 77% which is a huge number. But the ‘don’t be evil’ thing is starting to wear thin. Privacy issues with Google’s online medical records storage and it’s supposed search program for the CIA have dented the once pristine reputation of the internet giant.

But some of the other works being achieved by Google are worth a round of applause. They have provided the plugged in world with all the information they could ever need at the stroke of a key. They have torn down walls and opened up industries that once were monopolies themselves. As we speak Google is kicking the telecoms and cable giants in their respective groins trying to open up those markets to either free or highly subsidized products. Google has a huge charitable arm that donates millions a year and the company seems to really look after their employees. Ah but that pesky little two word sentence keeps ringing in the backs of every one’s minds;

Online Monopoly

Let’s face it, 77% is a huge effing number. Even 67% or 57%, shit, if Yahoo had 47% they wouldn’t be in the tall weeds they are in right now. So I did some research, yeah that’s right boys and girls, it’s not just rapier wit I bring, I come bearing flow charts created with Open Office! Here is a short list of history’s most famous monopolies:

The Tang government-The Tang government chose salt for it’s new tax system. First of all, the imperial government controlled all major salt production areas. Also, salt was a basic necessity in Chinese diet which almost guaranteed a constant market. To enforce this monopoly, a salt commission was established in 758. Had a near 100% market share.

East India Trading Company-The company’s main trade was in cotton, silk, indigo dye, saltpetre, tea and opium. It was granted an English Royal Charter by Elizabeth I on December 31, 1600. The Royal Charter effectively gave the newly created HEIC a 21 year monopoly on all trade in the East Indies. Another 100% monopoly.

U.S. Steel - In its first full year of operation, U. S. Steel made 67% of all the steel produced in the United States. JP Morgan at his best.

The American Telephone & Telegraph Company-Operator and a regulated monopoly. A government sponsored monopoly!

Microsoft Corporation-Microsoft’s best-selling products Microsoft Windows and Microsoft Office suite have prominent positions in their respective markets, with market share estimates as high as 90% or more for Microsoft Windows as of 2006 and for Microsoft Office as of 2003

De Beers-engages in exploration for diamonds, diamond mining and diamond trading (diamond (gemstone). The various companies within the De Beers Family of Companies are responsible for around 40% of world diamond production by value.

What’s my point? Google isn’t going to be able to operate under the radar like this for much longer. I am guessing that by the end of this decade there will be serious calls for it’s breakup into different operating units. Now, if you are a shareholder, that might not be a terrible idea, let’s check it out New Years Eve 2009. But given the absolute bitch slapping Google has been putting on Microsoft, it’s no wonder Steve Ballmer is ready to burst a CPU!